Follow Up – Paramore Friday, Aug 14 2009 

The prettiest prostitutes in the whore house.

The prettiest prostitutes in the whore house.

The other day, I stumbled across Paramore’s new video for “Ignorance”. Disgusted at the ridiculous audience pandering of both MTV.com and Paramore, I posted this blog in reference the video, as well as the story presented along side it. Somehow, the post got into the hands of a lone Paramore fan who then proceeded to spread it to other fans, somehow putting down their copy of Twilight long enough to write a few disparaging comments about me.

Now, I make it a point not to dwell on internet drama but I would like to point out that the backlash over my post serves as a great example of my point. Paramore’s fans have been hoodwinked and bamboozled by this young group of “musicians”, or should I say, their record label and management. Paramore has bred a group of fans who genuinely believe a band can be on the cusp of breakup and still put out in album within two years time (which is pretty quick). They believe a haircut actually makes a band more mature. Worst of all, they believe all of this simply because it was hand fed to them for Paramore’s label. Where are the discerning music fans who used to think for themselves? Paramore, and bands like them, are slowly killing off this kind of fan of replacing them with clones.

In my last post, I referred to Paramore as prostitutes. I can think of no better word to describe a group of “musicians” who so willingly whore themselves out for their label, all in exchange for a check in the mail. I’ll admit, it’s heartwarming to see a group of kids care so much about a band that has touched their lives. What disgusts me, however, is that the band holds them in such contempt low enough to feed them lies on a daily basis. Kids, continue to be passionate about the music you love. Flame the shit out of me and defend what you believe in.

But Paramore, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Edit: Here are some of the brilliant articulate counter-arguments a few Paramore fans have made:

Slarky2 says:
(2 hours ago)

“we shall chop of his legs and feed him to pigs
a little drastic
but he’s a jerk”

(3 hours ago)

“I think this guy is on crack.”

(2 hours ago)

“i just read it… 😦 makes me wanna cry”

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New Paramore Video Feigns Maturity Friday, Aug 14 2009 

Pretend to be angry! Now, pretend to be a band!

"Pretend to be angry! Now, pretend to be a band!"

Paramore’s new video for “Ignorance” recently premiered on MTV.com and reminded me of all the reasons why I dislike this band. Paramore is not the worst band in the world, I suppose. I can admit that there were some sugary sweet pop tunes on their last album, Riot, that I found worthy of “guilty pleasure” status. Hayley Williams has a voice designed for radio plays. If their management just accepted that fact and marketed them as such, I could probably happily ignore Paramore just like I do most other pop-rock bands on the radio (I’m looking at you, We The Kings).

The thing that bothers me about Paramore is the pretense through which they are presented to their audience. This video is a perfect example of that. The insufferable rambling of renown music industry puppet James Montgomery tries to claim the band is maturing in their sound after having a very rough time writing their second record*, as evidenced by the band now wearing darker clothes. Seriously. Darker clothes and a change in haircuts does not a more mature band make. The band’s sound is still exactly as it was on the last record, which sold pretty well. Why, then, does Paramore’s label/management feel the need to pretend as if Paramore had this amazing resurgence as a group? There is something just a little too “storybook” about the band’s claim of the inner-conflict, which despite being dense enough to threaten the band’s future, was magically solved in one day, with enough time left over to write a catchy, radio friendly single.

I’m not buying the story. James Montgomery, MTV, and Paramore will continue to gladly sell this fable to whatever moron will buy it though. I will at least take solace in the fact that there are some who know the truth; Paramore are not a band, they are prostitutes.

*Edit: As many angry thirteen year old girls have pointed out to me over the past five hours, brand new eyes will actually be Paramore’s third shitty album, not their second. I forgot to mention their debut CD, All We Know is Failing Falling.