Say Anything

Their music is now just as indistinguishable as they are.

I just finished a top-to-bottom meal of Say Anything’s new self-titled album. I know what I think about it. Problem is, I don’t know what would be the best way to express my opinion on the album. As any semi-regular reader will know, I have three speeds: sarcastic, self-important, and overly-emotional (sometimes all three at once). I’m having trouble deciding exactly which speed would be best to describe this album. You know, I think I’m going to give all three of my alternate personalities a chance to shine.

Sarcastic Dion: Jesus Christ, what happened to Max Bemis? I could blame it on his falling in love, but love doesn’t automatically mean one’s songs have to suck (i.e. Bob Dylan), so let’s not blame Sherri DuPree; this record is all Max’s fault. Every track screams of an artist who needs to stop listening to his own albums while masturbating in the mirror. Say Anything sounds like little more than a Say Anything cover band formed by scene kids who, apparently, don’t like Kanye West or Kings of Leon very much. The nerve of said scene kids to bash any other artists while performing lyrically miserable, wanna-be electronica (“Crush’d,” “Do Better”) or songs so desperately begging to be teen angst anthems, it’s almost embarrassing to watch them fail (“Hate Everyone,” “Mara & Me”), is, perhaps, the greatest understated irony of this tragedy of an album.

Self-important Dion: Seeing Say Anything sellout so dramatically drains a little bit more water out of my “Faith In The Music Industry” pool, leaving it nearly as shallow as this record. Make no mistake about it; these songs were made to ooze pop-appeal and garner record sales. Occasionally, the record stumbles upon a catchy chorus (“Property,” “Eloise”), but with no substance to speak of, these are the kinds of songs you hate to have stuck in your head. Then again, substance is not something that matters when it comes to record sales, and Say Anything continue to demonstrate that they will do anything to make it big. Whether it’s dumbing down their music, cutting their hair, or going online and begging fans not to download the record if it leaks (true story), it seems Bemis and Crew have sold themselves completely to their label and the almighty dollar. *Sigh* Capitalism ruins another great artist…

Overly-emotional Dion: And it’s sad to see them go. Say Anything were, for me, the rebel yell of my teenage years. When I heard “Admit It!!!” from …Is a Real Boy, I wanted to go out and yell in the face of everyone who would dare deny that my views, my opinions, my character was valid. Max Bemis’ songs meant something to me. Say Anything meant everything to me. It’s painful to see that the band no longer seems to care about the music that once defined so many of their fans. The grit is gone. The hunger is gone. Say Anything is dead.

Normal Dion: This record is bad.

Overall score: 1.7/10