Recommendation – “Hearing Damage” by Thom Yorke Saturday, Nov 21 2009 

Thom Yorke

Making Twilight movies cool since... the first Twilight movie.

I’m going to request that you do something that may be difficult for many; I need you to put away all your preconceived notions about Twilight. Yes, I know it is our sacred duty as Bohemians to hate anything and everything popular (I’m being sarcastic, which is very Bohemian of me) but how many of us can honestly say we’ve even given the Twilight books a chance? I can. And they suck, but that’s not the point. If there’s one thing that can make a Bohemian change their stance on something, it’s Radiohead. Therefore, I recommend you check on Thom Yorke’s track from the New Moon soundtrack.

“Hearing Damage” may sound pretty sophisticated and dense to some, but Radiohead fans know that this is actually pretty simplistic music for Thom. A pulsing backbeat and a programmed drum sample are pretty much all that drive the music. However, Thom’s voice and killer sense of melody paint a strikingly sincere picture of love on the cold, electronic canvas.

I, like many, was a little apprehensive when I heard Thom Yorke was not only contributing music to New Moon (as he did with the first Twilight movie), but that he had written a song specifically for the movie. I formed my lips to scream “sell out,” but just as the lyrics of “Hearing Damage” speak to an unnamed love, I will now speak to Thom: “You can do no wrong in my eyes.”

BEATLES REUNION ZOMG!!!1 Saturday, Nov 21 2009 

 

Paul and Ringo

Or as close as we could possibly get to one. According to several “professional” sources (as if I’m not fucking professional), Paul McCartney will be working with Ringo Starr on his new album, entitled Y Not. Well, Ringo, I can think of one good reason; you’re not a very good songwriter. I’m a huge Beatles fan, but as Starr will tell you himself, he didn’t have much to do with the Beatles’ success. If his tragedy of a record Liverpool 8 is any indication of how this new record will sound, I, for one, am not going to waste time getting my panties wet over this pseudo Beatles reunion.

Plus, from what I’ve read, the duet they’re doing together is just going to be some really lame call-and-response thing. If I wanted that, I’d listen to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” It’s getting close to Christmas, after all.

Pinkerton Deluxe Edition Finally On It’s Way Wednesday, Nov 18 2009 

Rivers Cuomo

You're making me love you again, Rivers.

According to several sources more reputable than myself, Rivers Cuomo is finally in the studio working on that deluxe edition of Pinkerton that he promised us a few months back. The album will feature all of Pinkerton, Weezer’s 1996 cult-hit, as well as some b-sides. If Rivers is smart (which he only seems to be half of the time) he’ll include at least a few tracks from the lost album Songs from the Black Hole, which I personally consider to be emo’s version of SMiLE. Thanks to the world wide internets, the most rabid of fans have probably already heard most or all of Songs from the Black Hole. Cuomo’s planned follow-up to Pinkerton was meant to be the nerdiest, most epically lame rock opera ever constructed. Unfortunately, Pinkerton’s critical failure sent Rivers into a state of mind not suited to finish the record. Now, we may actually get some decent recordings of some of the songs, just as we did on Rivers’ two demo albums.

On the other hand, maybe Rivers will change all the lyrics on Pinkerton to songs about partying.

Review – Say Anything – Say Anything Saturday, Nov 14 2009 

Say Anything

Their music is now just as indistinguishable as they are.

I just finished a top-to-bottom meal of Say Anything’s new self-titled album. I know what I think about it. Problem is, I don’t know what would be the best way to express my opinion on the album. As any semi-regular reader will know, I have three speeds: sarcastic, self-important, and overly-emotional (sometimes all three at once). I’m having trouble deciding exactly which speed would be best to describe this album. You know, I think I’m going to give all three of my alternate personalities a chance to shine.

Sarcastic Dion: Jesus Christ, what happened to Max Bemis? I could blame it on his falling in love, but love doesn’t automatically mean one’s songs have to suck (i.e. Bob Dylan), so let’s not blame Sherri DuPree; this record is all Max’s fault. Every track screams of an artist who needs to stop listening to his own albums while masturbating in the mirror. Say Anything sounds like little more than a Say Anything cover band formed by scene kids who, apparently, don’t like Kanye West or Kings of Leon very much. The nerve of said scene kids to bash any other artists while performing lyrically miserable, wanna-be electronica (“Crush’d,” “Do Better”) or songs so desperately begging to be teen angst anthems, it’s almost embarrassing to watch them fail (“Hate Everyone,” “Mara & Me”), is, perhaps, the greatest understated irony of this tragedy of an album.

Self-important Dion: Seeing Say Anything sellout so dramatically drains a little bit more water out of my “Faith In The Music Industry” pool, leaving it nearly as shallow as this record. Make no mistake about it; these songs were made to ooze pop-appeal and garner record sales. Occasionally, the record stumbles upon a catchy chorus (“Property,” “Eloise”), but with no substance to speak of, these are the kinds of songs you hate to have stuck in your head. Then again, substance is not something that matters when it comes to record sales, and Say Anything continue to demonstrate that they will do anything to make it big. Whether it’s dumbing down their music, cutting their hair, or going online and begging fans not to download the record if it leaks (true story), it seems Bemis and Crew have sold themselves completely to their label and the almighty dollar. *Sigh* Capitalism ruins another great artist…

Overly-emotional Dion: And it’s sad to see them go. Say Anything were, for me, the rebel yell of my teenage years. When I heard “Admit It!!!” from …Is a Real Boy, I wanted to go out and yell in the face of everyone who would dare deny that my views, my opinions, my character was valid. Max Bemis’ songs meant something to me. Say Anything meant everything to me. It’s painful to see that the band no longer seems to care about the music that once defined so many of their fans. The grit is gone. The hunger is gone. Say Anything is dead.

Normal Dion: This record is bad.

Overall score: 1.7/10

Animal Collective vs. Black Eyed Peas Among Contests in Inane iTunes “Best Of” List Saturday, Nov 14 2009 

Apple, Inc.

Sad that this is first result on Google images, rather than an actual apple...

iTunes, the the main valve of the ironically heartless Apple Corporation, is putting together a “Best Of” award for 2009, one for albums and one for songs. The word “best” is thrown around much too carelessly in this situation, as the shortlist is simply made up of some of the highest selling units in the iTunes store. Call me a jaded music whore (a lot of people already do), but any “best of” list that seriously considers the likes of Animal Collective and Biffy Clyro to be comparable to Black Eyed Peas and Kings of Leon loses all credibility in my book (admittedly, Black Eyed Peas’ older material could be worth the competition, but “Boom Boom Pow” should not be considered valid competition except for in lap dance contests at frat parties around America).

Adding to the almost inevitable headache, iTunes is allowing fans of their facebook page to vote on a best album and best song of 2009 as well. The prestigious nominees include Lady GaGa (ew), JLS (whoever that is), and Alexandra Burke (who won a TV show in England called “The X Factor,” which I’ve never watched, which means I’ve never heard her, which means I probably don’t like her).

The full list of nominees is below (average):

The iTunes editors’ choices for Best Album of 2009 are:

Empire Of The Sun – ‘Empire Of The Sun’
Florence & The Machine – ‘Lungs’
Kasabian – ‘West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum’
La Roux – ‘La Roux’
Major Lazer – ‘Guns Don’t Kill People, Lazers Do’
Paolo Nutini – ‘Sunny Side Up”
The Horrors – ‘Primary Colours’
The Invisible – ‘The Invisible’
The Temper Trap – ‘Conditions’
The xx – ‘The xx’

The iTunes editors’ Best Song of 2009 shortlist is:

Animal Collective – ‘My Girls’
Biffy Clyro – ‘That Golden Rule’
Black Eyed Peas – ‘Boom Boom Pow’
Dizzee Rascal – ‘Bonkers’
Gossip – ‘Heavy Cross (Fred Falke Remix)’
Jack Penate – ‘Tonight’s Today’
Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys – ‘Empire State Of Mind’
Kings Of Leon – ‘Use Somebody’
La Roux – ‘In For The Kill’
Phoenix – ‘1901’

Who’s Performing At The Super Halftime Show? The Who Saturday, Nov 14 2009 

The Who

Good thing he didn't die before he got old.

According to Spinner, this year’s Super Bowl Halftime show will feature yet another legendary classic rock act in The Who. As both a writer and a musician, sports rarely appeal to me. While the other black kids in middle school were playing football or basketball, earning them bad ass nicknames, I wrote poetry and listened to Evanescence, earning me the nickname “faggot,” which is significantly less bad ass than I would have liked. Even so, I watch the Super Bowl every year, and not just for the musical performance. I legitimately enjoy the sport and I even have a favorite team (the Carolina Panthers, who will have a shot at the playoffs once we get a quarterback who doesn’t give away balls as easily as Perez Hilton gives away, well, balls).

All that being said, this year’s Super Bowl is shaping up to be one of my favorites in recent memory, and it’s all thanks to the refreshing lack of pop garbage. That’s not to say that all pop is garbage, of course, but there’s a significant amount of it clouding any “mainstream” event. I commend the Super Bowl organizers for reaching out to music veterans for the halftime show recently and keeping the music classy (or should I say classic (HAHAHAHA I’M SO FUNNY!)).