The Bemises - The New Carpenters, But Even Less Punk

The Bemises - The New Carpenters, But Even Less Punk

According to Max Bemis’ Twitter, he and his wife Sherri DuPree-Bemis (who sings in “indie-rock-for-kids-who-don’t-like-indie-rock” band, Eisley) will be making some music together in the future. Frankly, I’m not sure whether or not scene kids can handle so much mediocrity in one group. This project has a lot of potential. I mean, I thought Max Bemis has officially set the standard for terribly bland music when he released In Defense of the Genre. Then, he topped himself with Two Tongues, mixing his flavorless songwriting with the nasally whines of Chris Conley to create a triumphantly unappealing record. For a second there, I actually thought there wasn’t a musical concept left that could possibly move me to tears of boredom so effortlessly.

This time, however, I have faith in Max Bemis. After all, one look at the song-titles on his new album will let you know that Sherri DuPree-Bemis has already had a disastrous effect on Bemis’ already underwhelming song-writing ability (it takes balls for a 25 year-old man to write a song called “Crush’d”). Bemis and DuPree-Bemis have the opportunity to construct one of the landmark albums of our generation, the one by which all other albums are compared. I can see it now…

Dave Grohl: How do you like our new record?
Friend: Dude, it’s absolute garbage.
Dave Grohl: Oh… well, at least it’s not as bad as that Bemis-To-Bemis album, amirite?
Friend: Oh, absolutely. I’d rather listen to Bjork have an orgasm than sit through that piece of shit.
Dave Grohl: I’m just glad Kurt’s gone. He never has to hear it.

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