All you had to do was grow a beard, Max.

All you had to do was grow a beard, Max.

Max Bemis is quickly replacing Rivers Cuomo as the artist who disappoints with more striking consistency. When Two Tongues was first released, I was still a Say Anything fan. Needless to say, the record’s boring musicality and complete lack of fascinating lyrics took a toll on my Say Anything fandom. Now, with the release of “Hate Everyone”, the first single from Say Anything’s self-titled fourth record, I can unilatterally declare that I am no longer a Say Anything fan. In fact, I may just hate them.

This song makes me think not even Max Bemis understands exactly why the band’s second album …Is a Real Boy was so damn good. You see, that album had a certain self-deprecating humor about it that was instantly appealing to sixteen year-old Dion. Now, as I near my 20th birthday, perhaps I have simply outgrown Max Bemis’ antics. Or, more likely, Say Anything has forgotten the subtlety that used to blanket their raggedy punk rock sound. What we’re left with now is a glorified joke song that would be more at home on a Weird Al Yankovich parody of Weezer. The music shamelessly rips off “I Found The Law” while the lyrics are little more than line after line of tongue-in-cheek (read: stupid) self-deprecating lyrics.

Max Bemis has always benefited from being the main character of his own songs. Well, it seems that the character has become a bit of a Gary Stu, a walking stereotype, lacking any interesting characteristics. I seriously don’t think I have the patience to listen to 45 minutes of Max Bemis pretending to be fascinating, as it appears that’s all this record will be; twelve of so songs of Bemis masturbating himself. How odd that one of the people Bemis claims to hate are “actors who seem genuine”. Max, I hate to break it to you, but that is all you’ve become; an actor.

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